Friday, July 25, 2008

Mock Smack

There was a little 'smack' talk going on over on the OMBA site today regarding the upcoming
Big Ring Racing Invitational Mock Grand Prix Event this Sunday. I'm not a big 'smack' talker - maybe if I podium ed once in a blue moon, or ever, I would have cause to trash talk the competition.

However, this being a special Big Ring Racing event, let the smack talk begin.

Today I went for a road ride to scope out the course, plan my attacks and loosen the legs for the onslaught that is going to take place.

This is where we will line up and I will shun (in true roadie fashion) you if you're not wearing matching jersey and shorts, are slower than I am.
Slight uphill start just past P9 on the North Loop. This is where the suffering (for you) begins and where I pull away from the peleton. The following is a video diary of my ride today, with commentary of my race plan.

Just in case you didn't get a good look at my girth in the video, here's a still photo:

Weight + gravity = speed
Yes, I am sucking in my gut.

My team pace car may have something to do with my weight. I kept looking for it during my ride.

Notice the proper way to drink from your bottle.
Also notice no visor on my helmet.
Mtn bikers leave your camelbacks at home.

** The ONLY reason I went for a ride today was to shoot this smack video AND because I ate a half of a pan of banana chocolate chip bread at three in the morning. **


Peter M said...

I'm not use UCI rules permit performance enhancing girth for the downhills. But I'm ready for you Barlow, I have strategically placed some anvils at the top of every descent, which will allow my 138 pound frame to be transformed into a Lenny-dropping machine.

Peter M said...

We will now start and finish near P8. That way we can eliminate one road crossing and not have anyone sprinting across Meech Lake in a desparate effort to finish ahead of Lenny. Thanks Stef for the suggestion.

This will also completely throw off Craig's gameplan, levelling the playing field for all of us.

LennyG said...

Peter, since we want a level playing field I will bring your sledge hammer to the race and I expect you to drag it around the course twice. That's right... you will need all the help you can get so this will help your descents. If you think it may slow you down on the ups I can haul it up for you and again that should level things out.

Perhaps some of you are wondering what I've been doing for training?? Well my game plan this year is to make sure I'm rested so I have decided that riding a bike can not help me accomplish that so instead I've been focused on more of a horizontal approach. My couch has a nice dimple to prove it!

See you all at the post race pub!

Anonymous said...

You gals/boys should have a brain bust'r race!

where: starts at gamelin at 4am.
up 5 to 15 to 1 down 4 up 23 to 6 to 17 to 8 to 1 to 12 to 3 to 9 down 2 up 32 to up wolf to 1 to firetower grab token (proof you went there) (various key spots have tokens to collect) then down 1to the 16 to meech road to Scott road to the trail behind the school to musie through to Powerline then to FP out at the parkway then to the 36 to the 52 to 53 and back to the 50 to the 36 (could make it so you go through the trails around lac Phillipe, I think the 57 etc.. then climb up the escarpment to the firetower then down the 1 to the 40 and road to CF) then to CF one loop of the race course up the 4 down the 1 to the 15 then parkway road back to Gamelin for the win!

I'm not sure of the total kms, but it should be around 140km or 160km. Have to measure it.

Take note - early to avoid people traffic and the you know who...

Wicked race it would be...