Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Pffffff . . . .

Apparently, this year the fine folks of the BC Bike Race are going to be hosting some of the biggest names in epic mountain bike racing. Today they sent around a mass e-mail to all racers - not sure if it was an attempt to encourage a little fear into the hearts and minds of the 'regular Joe Dirt' who is going to be racing beside (rather behind) these athletes or just a selling feature. My guess is the latter. Highlights include:
Chris Eatough - 6 time 24 hour World Champion and winner of the inaugural BC Bike Race
- Team Trek, partner Jeff Schalk
Tinker Juarez - Current 24 hour World Champion and mountain bike legend
- Team Monavie-Cannondale, partner Mitchell Peterson
Seamus McGrath - Canadian Olympic Team Member 2004, Training for Beijing 2008
- Team Felt, Team Canada, partner Chris Shepherd - long time Canadian National Team Member
Max Plaxton - 2006 Bronze Medal World Championships Espoir, 2 time World Champion Relay, Pan American Champion Espoir
- Team Rocky Mountain Bikes, partner Andreas Hestler
I know that we're not on the "World Race" radar for outstanding riders . . . . but come on, names like Curvy Butt, big ring, the Vegan Vagabond, Phat Tony, and Dr Peter M should be striking fear and a urgent sense of impending doom in the hearts of organizers and racers alike. Organizers will now have to stay up that much later waiting for us to cross the line each day and racers will have to put up with our belly-aching throughout.

They did seem to have left the following off their press release:
Curvy Butt (a.k.a. Kark) -Canadian Special Olympic Team Member (cross legged sitting marathoner - demonstration sport) 1996 - 99, 3 x Trans Ass Champion, 4 x Canadian Title Holder for the Curviest Butt
- Team Big Ring Racing, partner the original big ring

big ring - most weight dropped in his winter spin class (2007 - 08), Winner of La Grumpy de los Arsehole (2004), mountain bike legend in his own mind
- Team Big Ring Racing, partner Curvy Butt

The Vegan Vagabon - 3 x Canadian National Vegan Cook-off champ, fastest big ringer to cross Canada 2007, sheer-er of fork dropouts
-Big Ring Racing featuring Fresh Air Experience and Joe Mamma, partner Kari "Iron Woman-I'll Kick-Your-Ass"

Kari "Iron Woman-I'll Kick-Your-Ass" - Iron Woman Arizona finisher 2008, likes to strike people with vengeful fists of fury while swimming in large, schools-of-fish-like situations
- Big Ring Racing featuring Fresh Air Experience and Joe Mamma, partner The Vegan Vagabond

Phat Tony - maker of many babies, 2x Putter-Upper Champion of Dr Peter M 2004 - 08, Tallest Member of Big Ring Racing
- Big Ring Racing Ripped Ninja Squad, partner Dr Peter M

Dr Peter M - Ottawa Champion Winter Commuter 2006-08, wearer of Spider Man pajamas, 3x Canadian Team Member of Scientists Suffering from Grandeur & Delusion (shhhh . . . . he thinks he's ripped)
Big Ring Racing Ripped Ninja Squad, partner Phat Tony
I'm contacting the BC Bike Race organizers to ask them to up-date their press release.


Peter M said...

I'm not ripped? That might be the meanest thing anyone has said to me since Anthony told me yesterday that I'm not Spiderman. Next thing you know somebody is going to imply that we aren't going to win.

The Vegan Vagabond said...

Wait, Peter wins for champion winter commuter? What am I, chopped tofu?!?
Its time for a sub-zero commute-off, Dr. Spiderman. We will ride to the death (or till we reach a nice pub and decide to go in for a beer).
Your frozen ass is mine.

Anonymous said...

Good luck out there!

I managed to stay in the pack for a bit last year (with Andreas and Chris)... By day 5 I was beat up... dead.

Quite a site to see - Andreas pissing off his bike while we were doing at least 35km/h on gravel roads.

Hope you boys (and girls! All the best goes out to them!) trained hard! Cause the first 3 days are easy. Make your time on the first 3 days and you have it made.
Day 4 is a bit more single track.
Day 5,6,7 is mostly single track.
Day 6,7 brings some hair raising shit into play.
Bring diapers!
F-n switch backs like you have never ever seen!
And, some wicked wicked north shore style stuff.
Rockfaces that makes KL look like a childs playground.

Enjoy it first.
Race second.
Eat lots!

Anonymous said...

key points to that race I found:
1) go hard the first 3 days. They are easy days (at least they were last year). Miles and miles of flat dirt road. Easy give away stuff.
2) I hope you folks brought semi-new stuff. My fork exploded day 4!
3) Take advantage of the pavement. The single track gets grueling at times. Everyone hammers hard on the pavement. Get in a good group and dig it up (share the ride!).
4) eat! Take advantage of the pit stops. Everyone does.
5) hope you brought some warm clothing. It can get chilly.
6) get to the food lines early. After doing many staged races, the thing I find - early morning, many forget to wash! Shit on hands, snot on hands, crotch on hands... gets into the food. Many get ill by day 4,5. I relate this back to the breakfast servings. Not so much supper because everyone has taken a shower. Get to the food line early or be selective in what you eat.
7) watch the SSer! Tim and Dejay are there! Some of the best in the states! Amazing amazing performance put on by those 2.
(funny though, last stage race I was at Timmy D had the shits! Ask him about shitting on the humid rain forest trail!)
8) don't get chicked! just joking... its okay to get chicked.

most of all - enjoy the views! Amazing!
(all that clear cutting really sucks though, but the rest is just amazing!)

Hannah said...

I'm rootin for the big ringers!

Way to go you guys - remember GETTING to the start line is half the journey! Enjoy it while you are there...

Tobin said...

best of luck Big Ringers! You'll do us proud no matter what!

And I do hope this was sent to BC bike race! To funny!